I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
