I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
