oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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