I want to walk on stilts...naked
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
