after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
