Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
