Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
