$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize