Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
