does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
