half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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