A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My balls are so social today.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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