Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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