just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
