he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
