I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
foreskin is a definite game changer
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize