Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
