i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
