Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
