shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
