You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
