He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
ok first of all what the fuck
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
