The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize