Kiss
Puke
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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