he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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