Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
