We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
