hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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