I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize