we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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