So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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