i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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