New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
