i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
