I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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