He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
