I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
