i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
