She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
