Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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