he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Still dying that you shit outside
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
