is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
