i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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