Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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