so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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