so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize