I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
