Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
