party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
