Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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