you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
