Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
